These are my musings and observations on my daily life, loves and the laughter that are all a part of my experience of living now in the shires of England.

Monday 3 January 2011

Greatest desires and greatest fears


If my greatest desire is to be known, why do I find myself hiding from those who want to know me?

I am lying to myself if I continue to hide – I don’t really want to be known.

If my greatest desire is to find a purpose in life, why don’t I start the search?

I am insincere about my desires if I do not begin to follow them.

If my greatest desire is to find someone to love me and understand me for who I am, why do I hold back from sharing who I am and what I think?

I will not get understanding if I don’t share some information about myself and how I work.


If my greatest fear is about being alone, why do I find myself hiding from those who want to know me?

I will fulfil my greatest fear if I continue to hide.

If my greatest fear is never realising my full potential, why do I find myself resisting opportunities to shine?

I will never grow or expand my brilliance if I continually reject the chances I encounter.

If my greatest fear is failure, is that why I never get started?

I will never know success or failure if I don’t try. I will never learn that failure is a growth and learning opportunity.



Sometimes I think that my greatest desire is ... desire and my greatest fear ... is fear.

Paradoxical? Possibly, but also true.

We all often desire things and are fearful that those desires will be fulfilled because ... what will we do then? Start to desire something else? And never reach a state of satisfaction?

Maybe we are comfortable with the concept of desire as an abstract theory not an actual reality. Therefore we desire desire and fear fear thus keeping them both at a safe distance from impacting on our lives.

At the same time we get a taste of fulfilment from the desire and a keen sense of the fear also keeps us alert.

Obtaining the things we desire can give us a sense of being out of control. By denying self we may believe we have desire controlled. Desire makes us feel helpless.

I think that because we fear losing our comfortable unfulfilled states of desire we never fully embrace the brilliant reality of having the desire satisfied. We become static.

We remain in self-fulfilling prophecies of continual unsatisfied desire and perpetual foreboding fear.

I am moving out of Static City ...

I’m leaving fear behind and moving on into desire. It feels good.

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